Over the last 6 years I have been battling with my stress induced tics that formed at the start of the Covid-19 pandemic. It started suddenly and evolved quickly. I couldn’t hold conversations with people, and I would involuntarily hit, bite and shout verbally abusive words. Worst of all when I felt guilty my body would convulse, I would curl up into a ball and freeze, unwillingly holding my breath. All these things started so suddenly without explanation. I felt alone, drained, and angry.

Before I started seeking professional help I found there was one thing that helped me cope, the ocean. I started swimming, snorkeling, re-learning to dive. And every time I was in the water, my tics would stop. Watching the water move, the light dance along its surface and break through to the seabed below brought me peace. It was a space where I could finally in years relax and feel like me again. 

I often see my journey of healing reflected in the water’s movement and my project ‘In light of it all’ aims to capture the emotions I felt along the way. Starting with the decadence of my life away from home and the silent onset of my tics leading to the pride and confidence I feel today. I see my guilt, struggle, rage in the water, but also acceptance, love and peace. It has been with me through the entire process. Giving me space to breath, space to learn, space to explore and a space to understand and accept what my life looks like moving forward because in light of everything I’ve experienced, I would not be the person I am today without it. 

‘In Light of It All’ stands as a reminder that connecting with nature can help people struggling with mental health issues and encourage an understanding for others who, like myself, deal with the daily battle of tics.